Some Doors Only Open From the Inside
From a whole mess to wholeness
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Have you ever been adrift in a sea of sadness feeling so lost you didn’t think you’d ever find your way home?
That was me up until a few years ago.
I’d grappled with a shadowy sadness, a sort of low-level depression throughout my entire life. When I was a child, I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to experience anxiety every day. I just assumed everyone felt the same way I did.
Like many others, my internal struggles stemmed from early childhood issues and persisted throughout my 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and even into my fifth decade.
Over the years, I overcame these feelings temporarily by distracting myself with various activities and pursuits such as traveling for work, socializing, cocktailing, and cajoling myself into a false sense of “if I feel good now, everything’s okay, right?
Wrong.
Later I turned to “PMA” (positive mental attitude) books, videos, conferences, anything I could get my hands, ears or, eyes on to convince myself that I was “OK.” I delved so deeply into this way of thinking that I became the poster child for positivity. “ It can always be worse; just think like a winner.” I’d say to myself and others.
Even though I felt like a total loser with a capital “L.”
I craved answers, all the while seeking relief by whatever means necessary to numb the lingering sadness I couldn’t seem to shake.
